


I will be here when you are ready

by Jessicayan128



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Malex, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 11:20:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18072488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessicayan128/pseuds/Jessicayan128
Summary: Michael is scared of losing the people he loves. But Alex is there for him to lean on.post- 1X07





	I will be here when you are ready

Michael sits on the air outside the airstream, staring at the fire pit with a half-empty beer bottle in his hand. The fire is almost gone, but Michael doesn’t bother to add more woods into the pit. After working 24/7 in the lab to save Isobel from dying, he hardly made it back to the junkyard. But he couldn’t fall asleep, the thought that Isobel was dying haunts him. But he needs to get some rest, he still needs to figure out what’s happening to Isobel. Michael let out a heavy sigh and stand up, walking toward the trailer. Then he hears the sound of the engine. Annoyed, he assumes it is Max, although he couldn’t see who is it in the dark.

“Whatever it is, I don’t want to talk about,” Michael says without turning back.

“Gurien.” 

The familiar voice gets Michael’s attention. He doesn’t expect to see Alex at this hours, they haven’t seen each other since what happened in the drive-in.

“What are you doing here, Alex?” Michael tries to stay cool, but he can feel all sort of emotion is surging. After all the shit happened in the past few weeks, he is not in a good position to deal with the relationship issues.

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” Michael laughs “I thought you made it clear that you don’t want anything to do with me. What else we can talk about? ”

“That’s not what I ….” Alex tries to explain, but Michael cut it short.

“No, it is exactly what you meant. And you know what? You are right, I am a criminal. I was the one before we even met. Isn’t that enough for you to walk away?” Michael shouts

Alex looks at Michael for a few minutes, silent. And finally speaks “Is that why they suspect you a terrorist?”

“A what ?”

Without further explain, Alex hands out a folder to Michael. Michael looks at the folder and then Alex, confused. He reluctantly takes the folders and opens it. Although it is dark, Michael can still see what the documents are about, especially the title “Level Red Terrorist”. He doesn’t know what to think and what to say. The only thing he can manage to do is laugh.

“Gurien?” Alex says quietly with a questioning tone.

“Your Manse really does a good job to bring me down. First a criminal, now this. What is going to be the next? ” Michael still keeps laughing. What a joke of his life.

“I am serious, Gurien. I found it on my father computer.” Alex asks calmly “Is it true?”

“Doesn’t matter.” 

“It matters to me!!” Alex’s voice is louder now. He steps closer to Michael “I need to know the truths.”

“Then what. It’s not going to change anything. Either way, you are done with me, there is not going back, isn’t it? I am the only one who is dreaming about it after all these years.” Michael shouts louder and louder “or are you going to arrest me and hand me to your daddy? To make your daddy proud?”

The thought being locked away and the government goes after Izzy and Max scare him. Michael's eyes fall back to the paper again. Does the military know about he is an alien? What about Isobel and Max? The memories of his fosters parents biting him night after night, Jesse Manse smashed his hand with a hammer. And the nightmare that they are tortured. Michael breath is getting heavier and heavier, he feels the air is getting out of the lung, but nothing is getting in. Feels like drawing in the cold water, waiting for the painful death. Tears are falling out and land on the ground.

Alex is shocked, he never see Michael breaks down like this before. Michael always has walls around him, even when they were seventeen. When they were together back then, Michael opened up a little bit to Alex, but Alex knew there has been something that Michael kept deep inside and was too afraid to share. Sadly, before he could earn more trust from Michael, he got enlist and left. And now, after the incident in the drive-in, after he pushed him away over and over again. He cannot blame Michael to shut down. They stay silent, both are lost in their own thought until Alex notices Michael is having a panic attack.

“Gurien? Are you ok? What’s wrong?” Alex says in low voice, tries not to scare Michael. But Michael doesn’t respond, he is shaking and crying. Alex steps closer and grabs Michael’s arms firmly. He can feel how cold Michael is.

“Gurien. Michael…. Look at me. It is ok. I am not going to do anything. Just look at me.” finally, Michael raises his head and looks at Alex in the eyes. Alex can see the pain in his eyes. Knowing that he is part of the reasons that Michael is suffering hurt him too. But right now, he has to help Michael first. He puts one hand behind Michael’s neck and lead Michael’s head closer to him, eventually let him rest on his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t let anything hurt you, ok? Just breathe with me,” he whispers in Michael’s ears. 

After a couple of minutes of waiting in silence. Michael finally calms down a little as he breathes in and out with Alex. 

Alex breaks the silence “Do you want to go inside? You are freezing.” he says as quiet as possible. He nods but doesn’t say a word. 

“Do you want me to come in with you?” Alex asks. Then Michael nod again. Alex smile, he is glad that Michael accepts him even though, minutes ago, he was asked to leave. He wouldn’t leave Michael like this along anyway. 

They go inside the trailer and sit on the bed. When Alex touches the sheet, he realizes how much he missed the time he spent with Michael in this place and how happy he is before he ruins it.

“Sorry. It just a lot of shit happened, Isobel and everything is falling apart… and I just…..” Michael struggles with words and whips tears away from his face.

“It’s ok, you know… To let out of emotion. ” Alex know about Isobel. The news spread out fast around the small town. He should know better though, how important Isobel means to Michael.

“I sorry.” Alex stops and continues “ About the drive-in and disappear on for weeks.”

Michael does not respond and just stares at dark. 

“I am not here to comfort you. I’m here because I care about you. Gurien. I want to be with you. But - -”

“You can’t ” Michael turns his face and look at Alex “because I am criminal.”

“No. Because you don’t tell me what is going on. I want to be part of your life, Gurien, not just sleep together.” Alex says. He can tell that Michael is thinking, trying to figure out what to do with all this new information.

“If you know the truths, you will walk away anyway.” Michael sighs heavily.

“I wouldn’t,” Alex says firmly.

“No! You don’t understand. It’s not that simple.” Michael’s eyes started watering “It is ugly and dirty. I cannot fix it, everything starts falling apart !” he shouts and tears falls from his eyes.

“Gurien - -”

“And I cannot tell you because it is not my just secrets to tell.” Michael continues. 

Alex knows that Michael is talking about Isobel and Max, but he just let it slip.

“That does not matter,” Alex says.

Michael stares at him, confused. So Alex explains “I know there are secrets, but I wouldn’t push it. I have to earn it anyway. I want to be there when you are ready to tell me. Whatever issues are, I want you to know I am here.”

It catches Michael’s breathes. He looks at Alex like he is studying him “why you are always so nice to me? Because you don’t have an agenda to be nice to anyone?” the words bring back the memory, the time he has fallen for Alex.

“Not anybody. Just you, you know.” Alex smiles, which is the most beautiful thing Michael has seen. Michael looks away, try not to keep staring at Alex. It has been a long time since he shares his feeling with anyone. 

“I am not a terrorist,” he says

“I know,” Alex responds without hesitation.

“How do you know? ” Michael now gains back some of his sarcasm “I can definitely make bombs.”

“I know you. You care about people even though you pretend to be the opposite. You save my life more than once when we hardly know each other.” he places his hand on Michael’s, lightly strokes the surface of the scar.

“Stop talking, you are embarrassing me.” Michael rests his head on Alex's shoulder, and he is crying again, but this time for different reasons. “It just you, always you, Alex, screw me up.”

“Well, I am glad I’m the one who did that.” they look at each other again, and laugh together freely, like ten years ago. Michael grabs Alex’s neck with both hands and pulls him closer. He leans in and kisses him while Alex kisses him back. They kiss until they both out of breathes, and pull apart unwillingly. 

“Stay? ” Michael ask carefully.

“Yes, I will stay, as long as you want me.” 

They lay down on the bed. Alex places his hand around Michael’s lower back to make him stay close as much as possible. They press foreheads together, it is all they need right now.


End file.
